My Mom, The Fighter

With Mother’s Day coming, I stopped to take a look at my mom and my growing up.  It wasn’t always easy.  My brother, mom and I did our best to get through some really difficult times.  I know some have faced greater challenges, but growing up the way we did would challenge all three of us.

When I look back at my mom, I see a woman who fought for my brother and I to have as normal of a childhood as possible in the face of her divorce and loneliness.  She exemplified love to us in how much she sacrificed for us as kids.  We really didn’t have a whole lot, but looking back, I see my mom as this beacon of faith, selflessness and strength.  My mom, through her life, taught me that life really isn’t about me, but it’s about loving God and others as much as possible.

She exemplifies love even today for me.  After my dad had left, she was in another bad marriage that lasted a number of years.  That step father caused crippling hurt and pain in our family that has been  difficult to overcome.  Then after all of that settled, my mom met the man of her dreams.  His name was Ben.  They were life mates.  Their love for God and each other was very strong.  After being married for only a few short years, Ben died of cancer.  My mom, who is so driven by the love in her heart has to this day chosen never to date again or fall in love with another.  Her heart is with the one she loves, even though he has been gone for some time now.  People never imagine “till death do us part” to mean the end of two lives.  It’s usually one.  For my mom, it seems to mean faithfulness for them both to the end.

I want to love like my mom.  My mom’s love for God is so great that He’s almost all she loves talking about with me.  She takes the Bible word for word and it’s not just stories to her, but it’s God’s character and holiness that leap daily from the pages into her heart. Her heart belongs to God, Ben and her family and friends. 

I want my sons to see this passionate man in me, who like her, will spend himself on behalf of them and others.  I want them to see me burn with love for God and people.   I want them to see my joy, peace in storms and a burning love for my wife that will never be compromised by this world.  I want my wife to know that I will love her well beyond our lives together and I long to be the husband she deserves.  If I could thank mom for anything this Mother’s Day, I would thank her for placing these passions in my heart.  I know that I love more because of her example in my life.  Mom, thanks for everything.

Your First Love: Ephesus Revisited

Revelation 2:2-4

² “I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; ³ and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. ⁴ Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.”

I was listening to a message on this passage this morning and it really grabbed me.  I've blogged about these verses before, but the message made me want to hit on this again, because I realized that you can be doing everything right, you can dot the i’s and cross the t’s and still miss it.

I started thinking about what loving God looks like for me.  If we are not careful, our relationship with God can be nothing more than a routine or ritual.  I think God wants much more, so I personalized it trying to figure out what that looks like.  When Michelle and I first started dating, she would do things to make me feel loved.  There were times when she just made me feel special.  We could have nothing to do, but she just wanted to be with me.  She could take an empty day and make it full.  It’s why I still love her today. 

When I compare my love for God to my marriage, I could not imagine what my marriage would be like if Michelle only came to me when she had problems, things she wanted, or if she only came to me when she needed help doing something. Unfortunately, that’s how we treat God sometimes.  It's one of those thoughts where I had to stop and just tell God, "I'm sorry".  I know He wants more from me than this.

When’s the last time you prayed to God just because you wanted to talk Him?  When’s the last time you did something for God that had nothing to do with you?  I think we are so results driven, that it’s easy to forget that this is truly a relationship we have with Him and not a request line.

These verses are calling us not only to serve and stand, but to do these things on a foundation of love for God.  If you rip the foundation out from under the house, the house will fall.  We need to love God before we take the first step in ministry, before we quote the first verse of scripture to someone, before we pray the first prayer.  Love changes everything.  It changes how people see you and not only you, but how people see God through you.  Your first love must always be first, then everything else you do should be done in love.  It's the difference between a full relationship with God and a to do list.